Leave a Comment

Posted on January 5, 2022 by beverlyeash

Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

This one is tough. Just having come through the holidays, I suppose there are many of us rehearsing something that was said or done and wondering what it meant. Was he saying he doesn’t approve? Was she saying she didn’t appreciate my effort? I wonder why they are always late? Did we do something?

The truth is nothing others do is because of you. It is them living out their own brokenness in a way that makes sense to them. It sounds harsh, I know. But it’s true.

If your son or daughter didn’t come to Christmas, it isn’t your fault. It is his or her way of coping with his or her own reality. If you weren’t invited to Christmas, it isn’t your fault. It is the other person living out of his/her reality.

When I am able to stop seeing the actions of others as a response to me, I am able to love more completely. It might be a family member, a co-worker, the neighbor OR it might be me — we all live, respond, react, make decisions out of our own reality and what we wish to be true (our dreams).

Paul gives this encouragement to the believers in Colosse and we do well to follow it as well.

13Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 

Colossians 3:13-14

I wonder how situations would changed if I made allowance for the faults of others. Not just faults, but differences of others like worldviews, vaccination status, politics and religious belief. What if I made room for that? What if I loved deeply in spite of differences — or faults — and determined to clothe myself with grace?

It seems I could avoid needless suffering if I quit taking it personally. Extend grace and forgiveness and put on love over everything else!

Don’t take anything personally!

Leave a Comment

Posted on January 4, 2022 by beverlyeash

As I begin the New Year, I want to intentionally listen to my self-talk. It is what I say to myself that reveals where I have made agreements. As I journey through life these agreements may change, especially as I make healthy changes in what I believe about myself.

For a long time I made agreements such as “I am unlovable” or “I am not chosen” or “I am unnecessary.” These agreements reduced my joy significantly and kept me from experiencing intimacy in relationships. As I replace these lies with truth, I experience life in a profoundly fulfilling way. I want that for you, too!

As you consider the agreements you live out of, be ruthless in asking if they are true? Do they need to be replaced by something healthy? Something that honors who you are as God’s special creation? Perhaps these four healthy agreements are just what you need to consider.

If you have no idea if you live with unhealthy agreements, take note of your visceral response the next few days. Visceral is the deep inward feelings, not what your intellect tells you. Do any of these agreements make you shake your head and say, “no way! I could never do that!” If so, it’s likely you need to adopt it.

First healthy agreement:

Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the word in the direction of truth and love.

Notice how completely this first agreement lines up with the Word of God. It is important not only what we say, but how we say it and what we don’t say. Sometimes we should just be quiet!

12Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 16Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. 

Colossians 3:12, 16

One area this is particularly challenging for me is saying what I mean and meaning what I say. I am a recovering approval addict, so it’s pretty easy for me to slip into the people pleasing mode. It reminds me of a time a gentleman tried to sell my husband and I some trees. We asked what color the leaves would be in the fall and he responded with, “What color do you want them to be?”

Too often I temper my responses in an effort to please whoever I am talking to at the moment. I am not telling an untruth, I am just not telling the whole truth. That isn’t impeccable.

Another area it is easy for me to not say what I mean is with my grandchildren. I find it is so easy to over promise and under deliver. It’s easy to say I will bake cookies and go sledding and make a fort out of cardboard boxes and eat pizza with a movie and sew a new wardrobe for your doll before bedtime! I can’t do all that so I under deliver. That isn’t impeccable.

In what ways does your speech get away from you? Do you struggle with gossip? Putting yourself or someone else down? Always finding something that could go wrong and excusing it as realism? Let the Holy Spirit speak to you about your words and then agree to . . .

Be impeccable with your words!

Leave a Comment

Posted on January 3, 2022 by beverlyeash

Monday officially kicks off 2022 for me. The first two days of 2021 were spent celebrating Jesus’ birth, our family and welcoming the new year. The time was chaotic, funny, affirming and filled with food fit for a king. At one point in the preparation process, my daughter and I looked at each other and asked, “Whatever happened to pizza and chips on a sheet in the living room?”

The holidays are tidily wrapped up and set aside for another twelve months. Now my mind automatically turns to what comes next. Sitting in the stylists chair at my favorite salon with my favorite stylist making suggestions for a new look, I casually said, “Maybe the key to a successful new look is to TRY HARDER and take more time with my hair.”

It made us laugh as we considered the ramifications of TRY HARDER as the slogan for the new year. I don’t know that trying harder is always the answer, but sometimes it is.

In this new year, I am stepping out and feeling stretched in ways that are sometimes uncomfortable. Last night I thought my insides were being twisted and wrung out like a wet towel. The reason? My daughter was teaching me how to use an online document signing platform. She was as calm as a cucumber and encouraged me to take a deep breath because it was going to be fine. I did not feel fine. I thought I was choking.

As I consider all the new adventures on the horizon, I need to slow down and take a deep breath. If learning new skills is good for the brain, then my brain should be on next level greatness in a few more months.

One strategy I am intentionally employing is to be aware of any agreements I live by. I wrote about healthy agreements three years ago; you can check that out here. This week I want to take a closer look at what I agree with so I can be the best version of me in the coming year. I believe you will benefit as well.

The scripture for this week is taken from Paul’s letter to the church in Colosse. He gives them the following charge:

12Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 15And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. 16Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. 17And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.

Colossians 3:12-17

As you move about your day today, notice what agreements you have made and how they impact your daily activity. Are they healthy? Are they true? Are they good for you?

Leave a Comment

Posted on December 31, 2021 by beverlyeash

The last day of 2021. It seems almost surreal that another year is finishing. Today I caught up with accumulated mail which included Christmas greetings from friends and family.

As I perused the letters included with cards, as well as some Facebook greetings, I noticed how well these recaps were a fitting closure to the year. The writings touched on the high points of the past year, noting the gifts and blessings received as well as acknowledging the hard points of the year. Perhaps that is what I have been pointing to all week — a Christmas letter.

I will finish this year with a word of encouragement from the writing of Joshua.

6“Be strong and courageous, for you are the one who will lead these people to possess all the land I swore to their ancestors I would give them. 7Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. 8Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. 9This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:6-9

Because our God is the same yesterday, today and forever, I take away several comforts from this passage. First, he has a plan for me. Just as he chose Joshua to lead the children of Israel into the promised land, he has chosen me for a specific purpose. His plan is for my good and not my harm and it will use my unique gifts, talents and resources.

Secondly, he gifted me his Word — the Bible — to guide me. If I keep it ever before me, I will be just fine.

Finally, I can be strong and courageous in the New Year because God is with me where ever I go. I am never alone.

The repetition of a phrase – be strong and courageous – is a literary device intended to strengthen the phrase and make it more memorable. Think about your own experiences; when you repeat a phrase to your children, for instance, why do you do it? Are you thinking they may not listen the first time? Is it to reinforce the importance of what you are saying? Is it to seal it in their memory? Regardless of the reason, repetition highlights the importance of the phrase.

In this situation, it is imperative we understand that we can go forward into the new year, or into any situation, with strength and courage. Why? Because God is with us and he has prepared us for this exact time!

So let’s get at it!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Leave a Comment

Posted on December 30, 2021 by beverlyeash

28 “But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it? 29Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of money, and then everyone would laugh at you. 30They would say, ‘There’s the person who started that building and couldn’t afford to finish it!’

Luke 14:28-30

The last few days I invited you to consider the last year. Be honest about what went well and what did not go well. What would you like to keep and what would you like to discard?

As I considered the changes I want to make, I realized I need a plan. It isn’t enough to just say I want to make the change. I need a plan. It might be an accountability partner. It might be a coach of some sort. (A coach is different than accountability partner although you will get accountability with a coach. A coach also provides professional feedback and direction to help reach your stated goal.)

As you consider the changes you want to make, consider as well who can come alongside you to make those changes a reality. I believe the first step in success is to share what you observe with another person. It might be a spouse (that’s what I did), a close friend or a spiritual advisor. Then devise a plan to put your good intentions into action and action into results.

Good intentions and desire don’t automatically mean change. Change requires a plan and a plan requires discipline to accomplish. Don’t let this intimidate you; let it be the push you need to being the best version of you in 2022!!

Leave a Comment

Posted on December 29, 2021 by beverlyeash

As I walked the beach looking for treasures, I pondered the last year. What do I want to take forward with me? What do I want to leave behind?

5Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

Proverbs 3:5-6

I found there are many aspects of the last year I want to take with me into the next year. I learned so much about my body and how it works. I need the right food, appropriate exercise and enough sleep. I experienced first hand the difference these simple changes make in my overall wellbeing. I want to take what I have learned with me into the new year and expand on it.

I learned how to speak. That sounds odd, especially to those who have heard me speak. It seems I knew how to do that prior to the last year. But I am not good at speaking up for myself. I am learning how to state my preferences and finding that those closest to me are actually okay with me speaking up. What an amazing discovery!

I also discovered a few changes I want to make in the coming year. Last year I realized my joy is often situational. It depended on where I was and if I was doing what I thought I should be doing to keep others happy. Which, let me tell you, is impossible to do. I want to practice joy regardless of where I might find myself. I give myself permission to enjoy whatever I am doing wherever I find myself.

I also found I spent too much time with various types of media. It might be social media one day and TV the next, but too many minutes have ticked away while I am lost in the bowels of some type of media. I want to be more aware of mindless activity next year and recover some of the lost time so I can invest it in meaningful, life giving ways.

What are you discovering as you look back over 2021 from this liminal space of change?

Leave a Comment

Posted on December 28, 2021 by beverlyeash

Liminal space. The time between what was and what will be. It is a place of transition, a season of waiting, of not knowing. It can be illustrated by moving from one room to another. There is a moment when I am in neither room but rather in the doorway. The space between one room and another.

Or think for a moment about a trapeze artist. There is a moment when the artist is in mid air, not holding to anything but in flight.

That is what the next few days are as we finish 2021. We still live in this year but we are nearing the end. Whatever has happened in the last year is done. It cannot be undone. Whatever will be in the next year is unknown, waiting to be discovered.

Take a few moments in the next few days to ponder what gifts the last year has given to you. What are the hardships? What needs healing? What needs to be celebrated?

18“But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. 19For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

Isaiah 43:18-19

Now take a few moments to ponder the coming year. What do you want to differently? Is there a new skill to learn? A book – or three – to read? A fence to mend? A bridge to rebuild?

17Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. 18He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession.

James 1:17-18

In this time when it isn’t quite 2022 and 2021 is ending, what will you do differently?

1 Comment

Posted on December 27, 2021 by beverlyeash

Lindsey Stirling is an American violinist who performs worldwide. Today I invite you to step into the subway with Lindsey as she performs, completely disguised. Watch until the 3:15 mark and ponder the question she asks. Then watch just a few moments more to hear her answer it.

Do you see the gift?

Leave a Comment

Posted on December 24, 2021 by beverlyeash

8And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4:8-9

On final thing, my dear readers! It is here that science is catching up with scripture. It is good for your brain to focus on the positive.

Yesterday we flew to Florida for the holiday. While waiting for our bag to arrive, we chatted with some people we knew who were on our flight. I marveled at how quickly the conversation turned negative. Not in a drastic, we have to repent in sack cloth and ashes sort of way. But just negative. We enjoyed a nonstop, less than two hour, completely smooth flight and yet by the comments you might have thought it was a ten hour, turbulent flight riddled with extra stops and problems. We all do it.

Paul encourages us to fix our thoughts on all things good and uplifting. If we do this, “then the God of peace will be with you!”

I have never noticed that distinction. When I pray rather than worry, I receive the peace of God that is beyond imagination. When I fix my mind on positive qualities of life then the God who brings that peace will be with me. Do you see that slight difference? Or perhaps it isn’t so slight!

What is more desirable? The peace God gives or the God who gives the peace? I say YES! I want them both.

Take a moment to listen to yourself and others. Are the commentss generally of a negative variety, finding a little something wrong with everything? Or are the comments uplifting and filled with gratitude and grace?

Maybe that is something to take into your holiday gatherings — a determination to fix your thoughts on what is right, pure, lovely, true, honorable, admirable, excellent and worthy of praise!

And the God of peace will be with you!

Leave a Comment

Posted on December 23, 2021 by beverlyeash

In a world riddled with chaos and conflict, the concept of experiencing peace that is deep and real seems illusive. Yet that is just what scripture promises! There is a formula, when applied in faith, that ushers a supplicant into the peace of God that is beyond understanding!

7Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:7

“Then you will experience God’s peace”….remind me, when or how will this happen?

The first movement into experiencing God’s peace is to practice joy. Paul says we ought to rejoice in everything! I illustrated it with a simple example from my own life that you can read about here.

The second strength to develop by regular exercise is eliminating worry. While I am practicing joy, I identify anything that blocks the joy fountain; usually it will be worry. Worry is ruminating on things over which we have no control.

At one time I was a professional worrier when it came to flying. I started worrying months in advance and lived with a knot in my stomach. While on the plane, these thoughts chased around in my head: Are we high enough? Are we losing altitude? What is that creaking noise? Why are the flight attendants gathered in the galley? What does that tone mean? All of these were intricacies of piloting an aircraft that I, first of all, knew nothing about. Secondly, I had no control over any of them. Third, trusted myself more than the pilot who has flown thousands and thousands of miles after years and years of education and practice.

I asked a pilot friend one time if he ever worries about getting his passengers to their destination safely. He surprised me when he said, “No. I don’t ever think about the passengers. I want to get there safely so I just do that. If I get there safely, so will everyone else.”

I developed the practice of not worrying, but praying when I fly. I thank God for caring for me and holding me in his hands. I thank him for the good plan he has for my life and I submit to it, whatever that might be. I thank him for pilots and flight attendants who are well trained to take care of me while I am in the air. I visualize something that is good, right and true. Then I leave the control of the aircraft in his hands.

Guess what happens? The peace of God floods over me and I forget about the noises, creaks, tones and activity around me. I read, sleep, play a game, watch something on my iPad. But I don’t worry.

This may not be your particular worry. But the same formula can be applied to every situation. Just like building any type of muscle, it takes time. At first the discipline might have to be applied rather strictly and with focused intention. After a while, your trust and pray muscle works better than your worry muscle. The peace of God that is beyond all understanding is a place you live.

I will finish tomorrow with a final thought regarding God and the peace he gives. You won’t want to miss it!!

Blog at WordPress.com.