Thankful: conscious of benefits received; expressive of thanks
Thankfulness: the quality or state of being thankful
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Always be joyful.
Never stop praying.
Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Today as I write in a local coffee shop, I can’t help hearing the conversations around me. Shhh…don’t tell anyone I am listening.
I hear all kinds of holiday plans. These cousins coming in, those people going there, destinations near and far, family in to sort through dad’s things, conflict anticipated, nerves already on edge.
I observe human connection over coffee and pastries. Moms with littles sharing drinks and cookies, taking time away from home to keep the kids entertained and the mom sane. Friends gathering to discuss life and hardship, joys and dreams.
I see the gentleman who comes in for coffee to go. As he takes the coffee I hear him say, “I don’t do crowds much. I make too much of a dunce of myself to do that.” And my heart is a little bit sad. I bet he’s a really kind person with a sensitive heart and so much to give!
I love all of what I am seeing and hearing. We need one another. We were never meant to do life alone. But it’s not easy.
As you think about tomorrow, what do you need this year? A quiet, intimate dinner? Loud, boisterous family reunion gathering? A fireplace moment with your memories of the loved one who isn’t here anymore? The joy of celebrating the new ones in your life?
Here are a few thoughts from Romans 12 to help guide you through the holiday.
Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them.
Love each other with genuine affection,
…take delight in honoring each other.
When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them.
Always be eager to practice hospitality.
…pray that God will bless them.
Be happy with those who are happy,
…and weep with those who weep.
Live in harmony with each other.
Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people.
And don’t think you know it all!
Romans 12:9-16
The last phrase might just be the most important one, keeping me humble throughout the day and focused on others rather than myself!
Last week as I waited to be called back for an appointment, I browsed the magazines spread out on the coffee table in front of me. One in particular caught my attention, so I reached for it and quickly browsed several recipes, snapping photos of them to try later. Turning the page, a boxed quote jumped out at me.
As it goes, I was called back for my appointment and didn’t get to read the article. But the quote struck a chord in me so I returned to it later to ponder. You see, I have been known to try new recipes on Thanksgiving or other holidays. And that hasn’t gone over well with my family. And honestly, I didn’t like it either. There is something about the familiar that makes a holiday special.
One year in particular, I made sausage, saurkraut and mashed potatoes for Christmas dinner. I hated every minute of that meal. The food tasted fine and my husband loved it, but what I really needed that year was connection with family and the comfort of traditions.
In an effort to grasp the idea behind this quote, I did what we all do and opened Google. And I was rewarded with an article in a similar vein. The article focused on the health benefits of social connection, both physically and emotionally. You can read the full article here.
The article emphasizes how to connect on a deeper level at traditional holiday gatherings. Spending less time on the decor and the menu and more time on what really develops relationship will yield a more satisfying holiday gathering.
It is not only possible, but likely, that some of you are dreading the holiday. On a recent outing with friends we shared our holiday plans. They confessed that their traditional Thanksgiving gathering is wrought with difficulty. Dysfunctional family behaviors and conflict abound, but as the saying goes, “as long as mom and dad are alive, we will get together.”
As I write, one phrase keeps running through my mind: SLOW DOWN!!
Perhaps a story will help. My husband likes to keep moving when he is driving somewhere. If he gets to the train tracks and there’s a train, he considers an alternate route. If he can’t turn left because of traffic, he turns right, going away from where he wants to be to make a left hand turn into a parking lot and then a right hand turn to go back the way he wants to go. Finding ways around obstacles is his specialty. I just say, “Well, we keep moving, but I don’t know if it will be faster.”
We do that in other areas of life as well. We keep moving to avoid facing an obstacle, like an uncomfortable family dinner. What if we would slow down, take a couple of deep breaths and prepare differently this year.
Here’s a few ideas I have tried before I launch into a potentially uncomfortable event. Taking time to reflect on the needs that will be present at the gathering makes a huge difference. Have there been significant life changes in the last year? Job changes? Children born or those who left for college? Death? Sickness? Just rehearsing simple details about the lives of those in attendance helps foster good, thoughtful conversation.
I ask God to make me more loving to those around the table. I extend forgiveness. Listen more. Talk less. Be attentive.
Perhaps you are feeling more vulnerable this year. Make a plan to take of yourself. Excuse yourself to step outside for a breath of fresh air if you become overwhelmed. Take a walk. Enjoy some deep breathing. Give yourself grace.
Sometimes what I am wearing makes all the difference. Recently, while getting ready for a social event, I reached for a really casual outfit. Immediately I started feeling insecure. What if everyone else is dressed to the nines? Will I feel out of place? I stopped right there in my closet and mentally pictured every person who would be there. I imagined them in their usual attire and asked myself, “Will I feel uncomfortable if I wear this? Can I be myself even if someone is more dressed up than I am?” And then I proceeded to put on my casual wear and never once gave it a thought after I arrived at the event. I believe it’s because I came to peace with it before I left home. I slowed down.
Your insecurity may not be what you are wearing, but you can still pause to reflect on whatever it might be. Choose to be yourself because that’s the person everyone is hoping will show up. You are amazing, interesting and beautiful just as you are. And they need YOU there, not some imaginary imposter who looks like you.
It doesn’t matter if the table is in your dining room or if you will be at someone else’s house. Take time to make true connection with at least one other person this year. And don’t worry about the new recipes because they don’t have the power to fix relationships or create meaningful connections. Only you can do that. The food will be forgotten, but a kind word spoken at the right time will go on forever.
Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.
Proverbs 12:25
Be the kind word this holiday season! And you will be pleasantly surprised how much kindness comes your way in return.
Or…you can hold your breath, grit your teeth and suffer through the day. It’s your choice and no one can make it for you!
Happy Thanksgiving, Friends!
Thanks so much for faithfully following and reading every day! I appreciate it so much!
Social anxiety? It takes many forms and hits people in different ways, but I think we all experience it at one time or another.
A while back I left a social gathering feeling a more than normal amount of angst. Discussing it with my husband brought some relief, but I woke the next morning still bothered.
Later in the day, while browsing T.J.Maxx, I received the following text from my sister:
Right there in T.J.Maxx, I bowed my head and forgave my offenders. A peace swept over me and the nagging ache in my chest released.
It doesn’t matter what’s happened, sometimes you just need to forgive and move on. Jesus says it like this:
If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Matthew 6:14-15
It occurs to me that when I hold a grudge, I am the one who suffers. The offender has gone on to have a perfectly fine day. Forgive from your heart wherever you have been offended and then your heart won’t have a tummy ache!
In a world where change happens at lightening speed, I’m grateful for the consistent character of God who loves me. It is my anchor in the storm. Psalm 103 is a beautiful reminder of all that he has done and will do for me, his dearly loved daughter!
A psalm of David.
Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name.
Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me.
He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases.
He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies.
He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!
The Lord gives righteousness and justice to all who are treated unfairly.
He revealed his character to Moses and his deeds to the people of Israel.
The Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever.
He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve.
For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.
He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.
The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him.
For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust.
Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die.
The wind blows, and we are gone—as though we had never been here.
But the love of the Lord remains forever with those who fear him. His salvation extends to the children’s children of those who are faithful to his covenant, of those who obey his commandments!
The Lord has made the heavens his throne; from there he rules over everything.
Praise the Lord, you angels, you mighty ones who carry out his plans, listening for each of his commands. Yes, praise the Lord, you armies of angels who serve him and do his will!
Praise the Lord, everything he has created, everything in all his kingdom.
Psalm 103
Jonah, or at least the story of Jonah and the Whale, has to be one of the most widely known of all stories in scripture. I think I understand what Jonah was thinking.
He didn’t like what God asked him to do, so he went the other way thinking he could escape God’s presence. Nope. He couldn’t. He found himself in a violent storm with people who knew someone needed to repent. Jonah admitted it was him and the sailors threw him overboard. That’s a really condensed version so if you have never read it, you ought to. You can find it here: Jonah and the Whale Don’t worry! It’s a short story.
So after Jonah repents and is spewed onto the shore, he goes to Ninevah as God instructed him. He proclaims the message that the people must repent or die. Inside he hoped they wouldn’t listen. He reminds me of the child who was told by his mom to sit down so he did, but then said, “I might be sitting down on the outside, but I’m standing up on the inside.”
The people responded by repenting, hoping that God would change his mind and not bring calamity upon them. Sure enough! God responded to their genuine repentance and relented. He changed his mind about what he said he would do. (Jonah 3:10) This is what Jonah said about it:
This change of plans greatly upset Jonah, and he became very angry. So he complained to the Lord about it: “Didn’t I say before I left home that you would do this, Lord? That is why I ran away to Tarshish! I knew that you are a merciful and compassionate God, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. You are eager to turn back from destroying people. Just kill me now, Lord! I’d rather be dead than alive if what I predicted will not happen.”
Jonah 4:1-3
Jonah was mad because God acted according to his character. In other words, because he was unchanging. Even the fact that he relented and didn’t destroy Ninevah is in line with his character.
Do you ever wish God would act outside of his character? Does his compassion and eagerness to forgive bother you when it’s directed toward others? What does God want to say to you about this?
Saul was the first king of Israel. He struggled to obey God and accept his directives through the prophet, Samuel. Rather, he chose to go his own way and follow what the people said, choosing his reputation over obedience. Due to Saul’s overt rejection of God, God rejected him as king over Israel.
Saul was sorry he got caught not listening to the prophet. He wanted to be forgiven so that he might save face in front of the people, not because he had rejected God’s commands. This is Samuel’s response to Saul when he wanted forgiveness:
“The Lord has torn the kingdom of Israel from you today and has given it to someone else—one who is better than you. And he who is the Glory of Israel will not lie, nor will he change his mind, for he is not human that he should change his mind!”
1 Samuel 15:28-29
God freely forgives according to his character. But forgiveness follows genuine repentance. The Apostle John in his first letter to the church says that when we confess our sins, God forgives. I John 1:9
Repentance that leads to forgiveness says, “I’m sorry for violating God’s holy name and for rejecting his leadership in my life.” Repentance that does not lead to forgiveness says, “I’m sorry I got caught and feel bad that you might think less of me.” See 2 Corinthians 7:8-10.
God forgives me lavishly according to his character. He also knows when my repentance is genuine or if I’m simply trying to save face. God waits to lift the heavy burden off and cast it away. Are you ready to let go? Is repentance genuine?
I find it helpful and interesting to look deeper into the original languages of scripture to help me understand concepts. In Yahweh’s self-description (Exodus 34:6-7), forgiveness is listed as one of God’s character qualities. The original Hebrew word used is one that literally means to pick up or lift an object and move it away. It also means to remove guilt and the penalty of wrong doing.
Sin is a heavy load. In Psalm 32, David described his physical condition when his sin was unconfessed. He says it was like a hand that laid heavy on him. His body wasted away, his strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. But he begins the psalm like this:
“Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty!”
Psalm 32:1-2
Notice the relief and joy that one feels when there is forgiveness! In another psalm of David (Psalm 103), he recites God’s character and then says this:
He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve…. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.
Psalm 103:10, 12
These are the words of David, a man who knew God’s forgiveness. He committted adultery and murder then lied to cover up his misdeeds. But when he understood the gravity of his actions, he repented. And God faithfully forgave him. David confidently says, “He does not deal with me harshly as I deserve!”
Do you have a heavy load that makes life difficult? Are you living life in complete honesty? Do you need a dose of forgiveness and unfailing love? It’s here for you! Just ask.
I shared scripture yesterday that said God never changes. The three passages I cited all speak of God’s promise to Abraham to make a people for himself. In other words, God will not “unchoose” us in favor of a different plan. He sticks with his Plan! (See Isaiah 14:24-27 for more on God’s unchanging plan.)
Another aspect of God that does not change is his moral and ethical character. While Moses was leading the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt and to the land God promised them, they lost hope and built a golden calf.
God wasn’t happy about this and threatened to wipe out the people and start fresh with Moses. Moses interceded for the people but need a little reassurance himself. He asked to see God’s glorious presence.
I don’t blame him. I need reassurance now and then too. God agreed and told Moses that when he passed by he would call out his name, Yahweh. In saying this, he declared that he would describe his character to Moses. This is what he said as his glory passed by Moses:
“Yahweh! The Lord! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness. I lavish unfailing love to a thousand generations. I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin. But I do not excuse the guilty (justice).”
Exodus 34:6-7
There was no other god like this in the Ancient Near East. This is the One the writer’s of scripture knew and referenced. God’s moral and ethical nature does not change. He always looks on us with compassion, mercy, patience, love and faithfulness. He forgives even when he would have reason not to, but his justice cannot be mocked. The greatest expression of his character is sending Jesus to die in my place.
What aspect of God’s character means the most to you right now? What aspect would you like to experience more fully?
I grab a cup of coffee, my favorite flannel blanket, light a candle and curl up on the chair in my office. This is my safe space where I ponder and reflect on all things related to living. I plan, I write, I meditate in this sacred space. To my left is a rustic cross made from barn siding with the word “PRAY” strategically placed on the crossbar. Everything about this room tells me to take a breath and trust.
Today I come into this space with a heavy heart. As tears well up and pour down my cheeks, I struggle to accept change. This isn’t the first time I have needed to accept change. It won’t be the last. Nor is it the first time change is accompanied by tears.
It would seem change is inevitable. And many times it is accompanied by a bit of struggle or pain. Remember when you started school? First grade was a big deal. A lot of change. New kids to meet. Wondering if there would be friends. And years later I sent my children to first grade. They seemed so small and vulnerable. That was a moment for tears.
Getting married brought a lot of change into my life. I moved 2000 miles away from my home town to a community quite different from my own. Everything about my new life was different – church, family, style of dress, customs. There were many moments of tears in that transition. Years later, I watched my own children marry. Their faces, filled with joy, looked at another with the love and adoration that used to be mine. While it was a good and necessary change, tears were shed in my quiet place.
Relationships are essential for life. Like air to our lungs, we survive change by having that hand to hold. My very first friend outside of relatives was Sarah. We met on the bus the first year of school. This year, we have known one another for 50 years! That’s a long time. As adults, we pursued our own paths and settled in very different locations, but you never forget that first friendly hand.
There were many other friends after that. Really great women, and a few men, who helped make transitions in life just a little bit easier. At times these relationships got out of whack. By that I mean, I relied too heavily on one person or another. Learning to let go was extremely difficult. A time for tears.
The birth of children, changes in employment, moves to new homes, aging parents, aging me – and the list goes on and on – bring change in good ways. But always change is accompanied by a struggle and many times, tears.
As I reflect on change, the eyes of my heart search for something that is stable. Is anything constant? Even the weather changes from season to season!
I begin to make a list. I don’t think it will be very long.
Like I said, the list is short. There is a common theme in these verses, pointing to the aspect of God that never changes. It is his character, his holiness, his Word. He chose us – humans – to be his people. And he will not change his mind about that. No matter what we do, we are his children.
But does anything about God ever change? I find verses that say God changed his mind. So is he fickle? I need to know, because the rest of life seems to be pretty prone to change.
I invite you to join me this week as I take a look at a few verses that seem to indicate God does change his mind. What’s that about? Maybe you are like me and you could use a little stability in your life right now.
Until tomorrow…
May the Lord bless you and protect you.
May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you.
May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace.
Numbers 6:24-26
Out of the Chaos 