Before I expound on my own healing journey, it is important to establish the process of healing. You might even be wondering how to discern if there is a lie you are believing. Are there any signs to watch for in this journey?
Wounds are hidden behind layers of behaviors and emotions and will not be immediately recognizable. Again, you might consider an onion. The external layer of a wound is your life situation, the place where you experience pain or difficulty. The pain is quieted by dysfunctional behaviors that result from emotional upheaval caused by the lie deep within. The wound causes the lie.
Let me share the story of a woman I met a few years ago. I will call her Laura. Laura (not her real name) was a twin born at a time when medical intervention was not as developed as today. She was very small at birth and needed to be in the hospital for many weeks as she grew strong enough to go home.
As was the practice of the time, her parents did not stay in the hospital with her and only visited on occasion. There were other children at home and she had a twin who needed care. Her mother didn’t see a way to be at the hospital and away from the family.
Even though her twin was bigger and stronger at birth, she did not live very long. Eventually, Laura went home and she grew into a strong, thriving toddler. She learned of her twin by listening to adults talk. She heard them talk about how much stronger her twin was and that she should have lived. No one expected Laura to live because she was so small. Certainly no one expected her to thrive.
And her life wasn’t celebrated. She grew up believing she wasn’t supposed to be alive. She felt abandoned, alone and unwanted. Even as a woman in her senior years, she carried a great deal of pain inside.
I met Laura at a conference we were both attending. I happened upon her in the nursery of the church, crying and rocking and looking at the empty cribs. I went to her and asked if I could help. She shared her pain and the lies she believed her entire life. As she shared, I knelt beside the rocker and put my arms around this dear woman.
I did the only thing I knew to do. I whispered affirmations to her. I told her that I was glad she was here and that I was excited to see her grow into a beautiful woman. I said all the things she never heard from her parents or significant adults in her life. And she cried and cried.
And God did a miracle that afternoon. The pain of being left at the hospital alone left her. The rejection because she wasn’t supposed to live left her. The pain of never being celebrated left her. And in place of the pain come the unconditional love of Jesus. It filled her soul and healed the secret places of her heart. She experienced the love, celebration and acceptance that she had never known.
I could not go back and change her birth experience. But I could, with the help of the Holy Spirit, change the lies she had believed her entire life.
So, is there something to look for? Absolutely. Be alert to life situations where you experience an emotional upheaval. This emotional upheaval is likely coupled with some kind of behavior intended to squelch the pain. If you listen carefully, you will begin to hear the lies. (No one wants me around; I’m a drag on others time and resources; I will never be chosen; I’m a poor friendship investment; I will never…) If you have practiced silencing them for a long time, it might take longer to discern the lie. And behind the lie is some life experience, a wound, that is the source of pain.
And it is there that we meet Jesus. Right in the midst of the abandonment, rejection, feelings of worthlessness – whatever it may be. And we listen for his words of TRUTH!
O Lord, I have come to you for protection; don’t let me be disgraced. Save me, for you do what is right. Turn your ear to listen to me; rescue me quickly. Be my rock of protection, a fortress where I will be safe. You are my rock and my fortress. For the honor of your name, lead me out of this danger. Pull me from the trap my enemies set for me, for I find protection in you alone. I entrust my spirit into your hand. Rescue me, Lord, for you are a faithful God.Psalm 31:1-5
*There are many good health professionals that can help with this process. Don’t hesitate to seek help in this important work of healing!