Dismantle. In any restoration project that is the first step. It is unsettling.
The first thing done on the cabin was to take it apart. Not completely, of course, but half the roof came off. New dormer walls went up. The floor of the loft came out and everything in the cabin removed.
For a few days, there was a pile of rubbish giving evidence to all the dismantling. That is cleaned up, dormers finished and the roof ready for metal.
As I watch the cabin take shape, I am reminded of my own healing journey. The first step I took was to examine what I believed and dismantle anything that wasn’t true. It might have been what I believed about God — he is distant, he doesn’t care, I am his slave, he expects a lot from me, he is a hard master — or what I believed about others — I need the approval of friends, siblings, parents, family — or what I believed about myself — I will never be anything, I will always be last, I am the tail.
It is impossible to build healthy patterns on top of rotting beliefs. In the process of dismantling, remember that it isn’t what happened in the past that needs to be changed. We can’t change events. It is the belief that was formed that needs changing.
Perhaps praying this prayer with the psalmist is a great place to begin the journey.
23Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.Psalm 139:23-24