Ever felt scared to be alone? Not scared like “someone is going to get me!” scared, but scared like “what will I do all day?” scared.
Christmas vacation is over and the kids all go back to school; mostly you are excited and giddy to be in a routine again but there’s that part of you that is kind of scared.
Or the end of vacation and everyone goes home and mostly you’re glad to have the house back but there’s a part of you wondering what you will do with all your time.
It might be when the kids come home for college break – summer or winter – and then they go back to school and there is a moment of panic when you wonder what the evenings will be like without them.
Today I took my guests to the airport, knowing when I dropped them off I would be alone for a few days. I love being alone. But … I was nervous, kind of scared. The butterflies flapped about in my gut and I had to wonder why.
As I stepped into the house, I looked around. It all felt overwhelming to me. So I did what we all ought to do when we feel scared of being alone. I sat down and paused. Taking a few deep breaths, I allowed myself to relax into the “aloneness.” I watched a little TV, took a short nap, and awoke with renewed energy. My TO-DO list didn’t feel nearly as impossible.
Transitions are difficult. Sometimes the transition to having the house alone – even if alone is with someone else – takes a little time.
I know I am not Jesus and maybe he didn’t get off kilter being alone, but he did spend time alone. Intentionally. He went off by himself often. I want to learn from him.
45Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and head across the lake to Bethsaida, while he sent the people home. 46After telling everyone good-bye, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. 47Late that night, the disciples were in their boat in the middle of the lake, and Jesus was alone on land.Mark 6::45-47
What upsets your calm facade? Do you avoid being alone because it’s just so … alone? What type of transition is the most difficult for you? Can you be like Jesus and make those times of alone purposeful?