One more thought on blind spots. Yesterday I suggested one strategy to discovering our blind spots is asking someone we know and trust to help us. In this way, we become aware of those habits that do not serve us well.

But what if you are the one noticing a blind spot in another? What do you do? I suppose pointing it out in a straightforward way is an option. It won’t make any friends and might wreck a friendship, but it is an option. I think there is a better way.

As we share with one another the hard things of our lives, we inadvertently reveal our blind spots. For example, if I have strong expectations that others will keep everything I tell them in confidence, while at the same time sharing the secrets of others at my own discretion, that will stand out as being inconsistent. So what do you do? Overlook it…again? How does one bring that up?

It is definitely a tricky situation, but not one impossible to solve. The solution is learning to ask good questions so the individual can “see” the blind spot on their own. In this example, asking questions that reveal the expectation such as, “Is keeping confidences important to you?” How did it feel when Bob spilled the beans about …” will allow the individual to express their desires and expectations. Followed up with a question that helps illuminates the blind spot exposes the inconsistency and brings about an ah-ha moment. And all without blatantly saying, “You are being inconsistent.”

We are here to sharpen one another and keep each other moving forward. While not enjoyable to confront a friend, it can be the most helpful thing for them. I pray that you will be blessed with grace and tact for the sticky situations in your life.